February 2011
Earlier today
when Holly and I were driving to the library, she read the license plate in front of us and I wasn’t paying attention but when I looked up and read it—I was confused at first. THEN I realized that the person in front of us was the guy I have had a crush on since I was 14/15 years old. He’s 22 now, I believe. Even when we got to the library, I kept wondering where he was going. I haven’t spoken to him since I was..heh, probably 15 but he’s my friend on Facebook. He’s done so much great stuff over the past year and I’m the loser sittin’ around reading about it.
Oh well!
January 2011
Every lyric and soft, beautiful spoken word reminds me of you. And every minute I’m not thinking of your face, I’m thinking of the way you make me feel, which is whole. Though, there’s this bittersweet depression pouring out of my chest—flowing gently like a stream that teases me. Sometimes it is sweet. Sometimes I am depressed. I am a mixture of unpleasant and wondrous emotions.
I thought I was beautiful for a moment.
Why don’t you be the artist; and make me out of clay?
Why don’t you be the writer and decide the words I say?
The most therapeutic music to me is the kind that reminds me I'm not totally insane. And that's really hard for me to believe--that I'm not insane.
Nobody's Man
Tina Dico
Nobody’s Man - Tina Dico
I love the way you set me off with a stroke of your hand.
And your puzzled look when we make love that you don’t understand.
But nothing I’ve got will make you feel better. At the break of dawn
you’ll still be nobody’s man.
Harvest
Neil Young
Neil Young - Harvest
I just busted my lip because I hit myself in the face with my phone. WHAT DUH FUUUUUUUCCK~
My school is fucking retarded.
So, today I had to go to school. YEAH, it’s a Saturday. It was our snow make up day. Although, it was a half day, it still felt like a whole day. OH! And to top it all off, WE HAD A FIRE DRILL.
I hate fire drills.
We’re not in fucking kindergarten anymore.
Play
When things change in an instant like that and everything you've been revolving your life around for the past however-many-months of your life feels like it entirely disappears, that drop in your chest never feels like it's going to stop. I know exactly how you feel. <3
Thank you so much, dear. It’s honestly the worst feeling in the world. I’d give up as much as I could to have things back to the way they were. And even if it’s never the same again—I want things to be better. <3 Eventually, I hope he understands. And good things come along. He will see this…which might be good.
