I love how my cousin wants to be a fashion designer but dresses like a Kim Kardashian/Jersey Shore trash heap.
- Mike: You can't suck my dick on Fridays.
- Me: What, why?
- Mike: Because you can't have meat on Fridays during Lent.
- Cody: I put something weird on my nipple today.
- Me: .....haven't heard that in a long time.
- Cody: I really wanna try shrimp and grits.
- Me: We need to go to a fancy restaurant that makes it and try it.
- Cody: Yeah, like the soup kitchen!
That was fun while it lasted.
"Man, if I was a girl I wouldn’t know what to do—I’d probably be covered in period blood."
- Me: You know if you proposed to me you'd have to ask my dad first.
- Mike: Yeah, I'd be like "look--your daughter's the shit, I want her."